Warning: clichés ahead.

So I’ve sat down with a green tea to reflect, like a gazillion blog posts before me. I don’t think I’ve ever really appreciated the whole celebration of New Year until this year.

I was sensible this year, I stayed in for most of the night with my best friend and her dog. We watched films, treated ourselves to pizzas and chocolate and stayed sober the entire night. As midnight approached we went to a firework display the town over. At the stroke of midnight we gave each other that huge cheesy grin that Hogmanay qualifies for and hugged. We were surrounded by tons of people doing the same. Greeting each other with hugs and kisses and all the well wishes in the world. It was a pretty adorable sight to see.

While I’ve usually found making New Year’s plans stressful, only finding that it was another excuse for a party and while I’ve had fun at those parties, the next day comes with an inevitable hangover and a bit of let-down. Was all that fuss worth it? I think New Year is about coming to the end of a year and appreciating what you’ve got in your life. All the alcohol and party dresses aren’t necessary to appreciate your wonderful friends and family.

I have a feeling my reflections on New Year, have something to do with the kind of year I’ve had. 2015 has been full of ups and downs. I lost two family members early in the year and I’m still getting through that now. That, the stress of finishing university and my general lack of routine for the second half of the year have made me really ill. Unfortunately it’s not something I can really help, having a rare headache condition sucks. With all the negativity though, I can truly adore the positive in my life. I graduated with an honours degree in English and Creative Writing, seen some of my favourite bands live, had an amazing holiday to Amsterdam with my Mum, spent my 22nd birthday playing childish party games, visited my Dad’s for a lovely chilled break, I’ve dressed up in fun costumes for birthdays and Halloween, spent plenty of nights out with friends and I’m ending the year in a job which has its challenges but I enjoy it.

I’m very much ready for a new start, 2016 brings a nice clean slate. I’m not usually one for resolutions but I want this year to be all about writing. I’m determined I’ll finish my first novel, I started it as part of my final project for university so it’s not like I’m starting from scratch. It’s an achievable goal and I know how satisfying it will be. So with this post, I’m starting the year as I mean to go on, writing.

Happy new year everyone, I hope 2016 is good to you all.

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Tell everyone, lasers are cool.

I haven’t blogged in rather a long time. Considering I want to be a writer, that’s practically disgusting. However, this year has been one of the most hectic and emotional I’ve gone through, blogging hasn’t exactly been my top priority. Now things have settled down so I’m back and hopefully on more of a regular basis too.

I posted late last year about a condition I have called PCOS, and how I’d just started laser hair removal treatment. You can read it here. This is essentially a sequel. As of a few weeks ago I finished my treatment.This is my story of the process I went through, a process that it might actaully be available to you.

One of the symptoms of PCOS is growing dark hairs in places more common on men than women, in my case my neck and back. It’s one of the things that I’ve always struggled with, I never had the patience to wait for my awesome beard which I would obviously rock. Joking aside, as I started to get into make up and building up my own look in my teens, I always had unwanted hair to deal with first. My getting ready routine consisted of hair removal creams and a lot of plucking. Eventually I got fed up.

Laser treatment was something I’d talked about, it was something that would be a possibility in the future if I saved up. One day when I spoke to my doctor I discussed how my recent medication was helping my PCOS, it had made a little difference in hair growth but nothing to rave about, I mentioned about laser treatment, asking what the results of it are like, would it be worth it and she told me she’d find the relevent information for me. A few days later I got a phone call from my doctor with a rather delightful surprise. Through the NHS, women with PCOS can get free laser hair removal treatment. Now if PCOS affects so many women then why aren’t we screaming this information from the rooftops? I was elated. My years of nairing would be a thing of the past.

I was refered to a private clinic for 30 minute appointments every 6 weeks. I had 12 sessions treating my neck and back. For those of you who are afraid due to the expected pain, don’t be! I actually got my first tattoo before I started treatment almost like a warm up and that ended up being more painful. Most of the time you’ll barely feel a thing. Cold air is blown over the skin, giving it a slighly numb sensation. If you do feel something, it’s a nip. I’d take that nip, that physical pain over the emotional pain. I wish I had pictures to show you it’s worth it but you’ll have to take my word.

I can put my hair up without worrying, I can spend my time applying eyeliner and not hair removal cream, I can feel somewhat more confident about my image. To any of you ladies with PCOS out there that know what I’m talking about, I urge you to reach out to your doctors. Your doctor’s an asshole and won’t listen to you? Change to another and get what you know is owed to you. If you want treatment to feel more confident, sexy, beautiful and like the damn woman you know you are, then you are quite welcome to it.

Altogether now, tell everyone that lasers are cool.

Finality.

Today I began my third and final year of my degree. You could really call it the beginning of the end.

I have mixed feelings towards the end of things. Something as trivial as my favourite television show ending, I cannot stand. You’re emotionally attached to fictional worlds and characters for weeks, months, years and then all of a sudden they’re off, sometimes without a real goodbye. It’s really rather rude if you ask me.

However, when it comes down to reality, the ending of those big stages in life excites me. In primary school, I could not wait to leave for high school. Education enthralled me and finally I’d be in a place where I could learn about everything and anything. I was genuinely keen to write essays on my favourite literary heroes like Shakespeare.
Six years later, I could not wait for high school to finish. After studying everything and anything, I had realised that I wasn’t so keen on all subjects. University brought, despite limiting me down to one area, a sense of freedom. I was no longer obligated to study Geography just because of timetable regulations or prepare for a ridiculous exam which probably covered everything you didn’t revise for. Of course I would miss the people of my high school experience. Luckily I keep in touch with most of my friends from home still, thank goodness for Facebook! However, the essence of high school, the education, I was glad to see the end of.
For the second half of my second year, I studied abroad in Germany. It’s safe to say, I had the best summer of my life. I was opened up to a world of new cultures and new types of people. Considering that though, it made me appreciate home and the country I’m from a lot more. I miss Germany an awful lot but I remember that satisfying moment when the flight attendant announced we’d arrived in Edinburgh and I knew the end came at the right time.
And now here we are, my final year of university. This is one particular ending which should be handled with care. While I can’t wait to go off on more adventures (I hope to do my Masters in New Zealand), I will be sad to leave this stage behind. Sunderland is a city which will hold a place dear in my heart, despite some of remarks I’ve heard about it. It is where I lived on my own for the first time, where I marvelled over language and literature in a much brighter light and wrote my first Gothic play. Thankfully, this is only the beginning of the end. This university and city isn’t getting rid of me just yet.

Ends are certainly a puzzling thing to handle. For example, I’m not sure how this blog should end…